Coffee or Slap on the face?

Doing the usual distracting myself instead of studying for my final exam,

I came across a post on Instagram which felt like getting slapped on the face out of nowhere.

"If you were ready, God would have given it to you already."

Or something like that. 

I immediately pressed home after reading. 

Pretty sure it was God talking to me. 

See, I have been "avoiding" God lately. Crazy, I know. 

I am so frustrated with my faith in Him that I just went cold turkey. 

It was because things weren't turning out the way that I had hoped. 

But after reading that, it hurts so much to think about it. 

It hurts because I know that it's true. 

I keep on forgetting so many unwritten rules in life because 

I'm way inside my head that I couldn't get out. 

All I ever think about is how things should be in my own terms.

Not thinking that my dreams need to align with God's will. 

At this point, all I want is for God to heal me and help me find 

my way back to Him. 

I feel lost.