I have abandoned my old blog. I'm not even sure why I created a new one when I don't even post that much anymore--- from Twitter (except in my secret stan account, I'm always posting there) to Facebook and even in my favorite, Instagram. I don't know. I think I just needed something . Not sure what that " something " is. Or maybe I do? As always, I act on a whim. Lately, I feel like I've been hitting a wall in my life. I don't know what I'm doing, why I'm doing it, where I'm going... everything just feels so off. And far. It also feels like someone has blown the candle inside a dark room. I can't find my way out. I can't get over the wall. I think I'm having another wave of quarter-life crisis. I'll let you in on something. I hope I don't jinx this. But I hope I get to travel somewhere when classes are done by June. I want to see the world. I want to see so much of it. I want to experience something....
I went to bed early last night with the hope of waking up early enough to cram an entire school year's worth of knowledge--- all before the 2pm exam. My body clock woke me up at 11:30pm-ish. Fully aware that my brain supposedly performs at its optimum when it's 12mn and beyond, I went back to sleep to "kill time" before 12. Pffttt... "kill time", I amuse myself sometimes. I had a dream that I didn't have an exam to take the next day. The next time I opened my eyes... wait, is that the sun?! I checked the time and to my horror, it was already 5 freaking am. Long story short, I basically just gave up and resorted to skimming through my notes then proceeded to pass the time by getting sucked into an unproductive internet black hole a few hours before the exam. But the Lord is indeed good and I am such an undeserving mortal... When I arrived in school, I found out I was one of the 28 (?) students who were exempted from taking the final e...
Would you believe I was thisclose to booking that flight for the supposed "healing" trip? But the thing is, I only "booked" a ticket for myself. What held me back was my last ounce of sanity left for the day. Do I deserve that trip? Definitely not. I can't wait any longer... if I delay this for another few months I might self combust.
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