Doing the usual distracting myself instead of studying for my final exam, I came across a post on Instagram which felt like getting slapped on the face out of nowhere. "If you were ready, God would have given it to you already." Or something like that. I immediately pressed home after reading. Pretty sure it was God talking to me. See, I have been "avoiding" God lately. Crazy, I know. I am so frustrated with my faith in Him that I just went cold turkey. It was because things weren't turning out the way that I had hoped. But after reading that, it hurts so much to think about it. It hurts because I know that it's true. I keep on forgetting so many unwritten rules in life because I'm way inside my head that I couldn't get out. All I ever think about is how things should be in my own terms. Not thinking that my dreams need to align with God's will. At this point, all I want is for God to heal me a
I have abandoned my old blog. I'm not even sure why I created a new one when I don't even post that much anymore--- from Twitter (except in my secret stan account, I'm always posting there) to Facebook and even in my favorite, Instagram. I don't know. I think I just needed something . Not sure what that " something " is. Or maybe I do? As always, I act on a whim. Lately, I feel like I've been hitting a wall in my life. I don't know what I'm doing, why I'm doing it, where I'm going... everything just feels so off. And far. It also feels like someone has blown the candle inside a dark room. I can't find my way out. I can't get over the wall. I think I'm having another wave of quarter-life crisis. I'll let you in on something. I hope I don't jinx this. But I hope I get to travel somewhere when classes are done by June. I want to see the world. I want to see so much of it. I want to experience something.
After my exam, I opened my Facebook out of habit to distract myself from the impending post-exam blues. A few friends tagged me in a news article regarding Harry Styles "indirectly" confirming that he is in fact bisexual. Believe it or not, I am NOT shocked. This is not said out of hurt or bitterness. Bih, I've been a fan since forever and you actually think that at some point I didn't think about this? I remember telling my sister before that I would not be surprised that if one day, he might actually address all these rumors about his sexuality. But until then, it was and will never be an issue. The entire ride home, I kept on thinking of witty ways to reply to all my friends who had expressed their "concern" for me when the news broke out that Harry Styles's new song was about him expressing his "true" sexuality. I feel sad. Not because of what the reason my friends might be thinking but rather--- why would this even matter?! I
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